Saturday, March 8, 2014

A Guide for Guys - How To Understand Ladies

Oh Hi!

Since I am a lady (Last time I checked at least) and I know that we ladies are quite difficult sometimes (or all the time) I thought I would let the guys of the world in on some things that goes through ladies' heads and explain what this all means. This will not help you understand the whole female population but maybe give you an idea as to how to go about certain things including females. Soooo let's get started.

First of all, ladies overthink A LOT. We analyze everything you say and a problem that wasn't even there in the beginning becomes one of the lifechanging things in our head. So when you speak with us, be clear as to what you mean. No half-hearted replies like "hmm maybe" or "I don't know" because those will turn into bigger things in our head and we might suddenly think you're a serial killer. So if I ask you "Do you want pizza?" you say either "Yes" or "No" because it's gonna confuse me otherwise. 

Second, do NOT lie to us. We will figure out eventually and then you're gonna be in a hell of a lot of trouble. Honesty is underrated these days and we all know nobody trusts anyone so just, be honest. If you accidentally killed someone, tell us. We're most likely to figure out one hell of a plan to get you out of jail if we love you enough. So just, please be honest with us.

Third, if we say that we're fine you should know it's time to drag us to bed and cuddle with us. When we say that we're fine though we're not we most likely just need you to show us that you care (unless you've cheated, then know hell is about to be a place on Earth and you should run while you can). If we're extra grumpy just cuddle with us and make us feel loved, we're most likely to feel better after that.

Fourth, just because we're pissed doesn't mean we're on our period. I HATE when people pull that card like "are you on your period?" NO. Can I not be angry and annoyed like any other human without HAVING to be on my period? So whatever you do, if we're angry, do NOT ask us if it's "that time of the month" because it will most likely just piss us off even more.

Fifth, DO NOT TREAT US LIKE OBJECTS. Jesus did not die so boys could jack off to pictures of half-naked girls. HONESTLY. Where's that respect someone once talked about? Can't see it anywhere actually.
Just, please respect us and actually, respect everyone around you, not just us. And NO is NO, not "I'm trying to play hard to get" or anything like that. No means NO.

Sixth, forgive us for going to the bathroom together. It's just something we do. Either we do it to talk about you or then it's because we just can't be without each other and we're secretly lesbians. (I'm joking, don't freak out).

Seventh, don't make fun of our idols. We WILL punch you, eventually. Our idols are probably the ones who saved us and even though you might think Justin Bieber is gay he's still saved millions of lives and he's probably saved your girlfriend so just shut up yah? There's reason behind why we have the idols we have. They might've been there when you weren't, so f u c k off if you're gonna talk shit about our idols.

And lastly (for today), don't mention our weight. We spend years trying to be comfortable in our own bodies and someone even mentioning our bodies might get us to be insecure again, so keep that in mind. Whatever you do, do NOT mention our weight. Do not call us skinny or fat (at least not me, I don't wanna be something like that in your head) and only mention our bodies if it's something positive like "you have nice legs" etc.

I hope this has been interesting reading and for all you girls, let me know if you agree on these parts and also tell me what else you think boys should think about when talking to us?

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