Saturday, May 3, 2014

Don't Let Them Take Your Spirit

Oh Hi!

Today is a serious blogpost so I want you to take a deep breath and understand that what I'm writing is what is in my head and therefore nothing to mess with.

By the title you can guess where this is going but nobody really knows, not even me.

So we had this project in finnish class to write an essay about our life. First of all, finnish is not my first language so you can just imagine the horror. But that's not what I'm here for today.
Nope, when I would write about my primary school years I realized that I didn't remember anything good from those years. I just remembered the bad stuff, like when I had to watch my "friends" on the swings because there wasn't room for me and like when they ran away from me or my personal favorite; when they denied they were doing this all to me.

As a 7-9 year old girl it hurt but I didn't fully understand it and I just kinda tried to keep playing with them because who else was I supposed to play with? All the other kids had their groups.

When I was little I had this really positive outlook on life (like most kids) and I was always very happy and most important: I believed in myself. And thinking back to that time when standing next to the swings just watching them I remember myself smiling. Because heck, even though I was 7-9 years old I would not let those bastards take my spirit.

It was only when I became older that they (different people now, but same lonely feeling) took part of my spirit. And damn do I regret letting them do that.

If a 7-9 year old little girl can keep her spirit and keep believing in herself, it's weird to think that my 13 year old-self let them take part of my spirit. I got it back of course but you know, I was miserable for a little more than a year.

My point here is, don't let them take your spirit. No matter what the hell they do, even if they abuse you everyday, DO NOT LET THEM TAKE YOUR SPIRIT. Keep your spirit, keep that piece of you telling you that you can do it, because you can do it.

And if they take your spirit, take it back. Claim it as yours only. Stand up and say "I am my own person and I believe in myself" and go right out there and do what you wanna do. Because let's face it, you don't wanna lose 1 year of your life to idiots who have nothing better to do.

And I know you're sitting there like "shithead it's not that easy" and damn I know it's not. But do you really want them to win? Because I didn't want them to win and I kept telling myself "they will not win" and that's why they only got half of my spirit. 

We are all different, and if they're trying to take your spirit because of something that makes you stand out, then it's only they who fail. They fail because they fail to see the beauty in difference. They fail because they can not understand how wonderful it is to be right out different. And they fail because they feel the need to take somebody else's spirit because they let go of their own.

You're not horrible like they might try to tell you, you're damn wonderful. And if they call you weird, embrace it because they're just normal and ain't nobody got time for dat. No but seriously. If all they can tell you is that you're ugly or weird or not normal then they're not doing that great. Because that's only what they see and not what you really are. And how we see other people is often reflected on at how we see ourselves.

Do not let them take your spirit.

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