tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3254753396832725132024-03-18T03:02:41.039+00:00Maddie | ...wandering... ....wondering...ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-61698353363476660582021-08-19T12:40:00.002+01:002021-08-19T15:56:55.214+01:00And Then, She Finished a Bachelors DegreeHi there... Hello...Long time no talk... At least on this platform! If you follow me on twitter or instagram you've heard plenty from me, but on this side of the internet it's been dead quiet... Sorry about that. So, I guess I should re-introduce myself. Hi, my name is Maddie, I'm twenty-three years old and I have just finished a Bachelors degree in Creative Writing. Wow. And somehow, as if ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-67932918085088875372019-02-01T21:02:00.000+00:002019-02-01T21:02:47.030+00:00How do You Pack up Your Life And Move to Another Country?
Oh hi,
Hello, hi, hey, hola. It's me again. Yes, I am doing my bi-yearly blogpost, now that it's been another half a year since I last posted anything. Oh actually, it's been 10 months. Oops. I got a bit busy moving countries, and handling change happening everywhere.
Question: how do you pack up your life and move to another country?
Answer: with a lot of panic and uncertainty.
Would ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-536909623633893932018-04-14T19:00:00.000+01:002018-08-20T14:00:58.399+01:00I'm Still Alive (Life Update)
Oh Hi!
Long time no talk. I would love to just pretend like it hasn't been half a year since I last posted but I promised myself that my blog would be an honest space so here we are. Where have I been and why have I been gone?
If you follow me on social media you'll know that I didn't actually disappear, I just did the thing I do almost every single time I start posting blogposts ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-35356639100325344402017-10-07T19:00:00.000+01:002017-10-07T19:00:10.702+01:00Sharing the DownhillI can feel myself slipping. Losing grip of life. I don't know how I got here again. It might just be a bump in the road, but right now it feels like I've gone back to square one. Back to that empty feeling and the silent tears.
As a person who's been depressed, and gotten better, my biggest fear is always to relapse. To somehow end up in the same place I was before. And I'm scared to admit that IItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-53584203739341604542017-09-26T17:00:00.000+01:002017-09-26T19:57:10.040+01:00Goals For The End of The Year
Oh hi!
This year is slowly coming to an end, and with only 3 months left of the year I decided it was time to reflect and to set up some goals that are within reach for the end of the year. Since most of these goals actually have to do with my online presence, I thought I would share them with you, and maybe you will want to set up your own goals for these last 3 months of 2017.
Now thisItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-42049071128758844002017-09-03T12:55:00.001+01:002017-09-03T12:55:29.642+01:00Things Never Go As Planned
Oh Hi!
Things don't always go how you've planned them. In my life I seem to have a lot of those things, those things that don't go as planned.
I would've loved to come on here and write "SUCCESS, I GOT THE JOB AND I GOT THE APARTMENT" and I would've loved to live in a fairytale where everything goes according to plan. But, this is my life, and a real life, so of course that did not happen. ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-7694524469038909672017-08-19T11:00:00.003+01:002017-08-19T11:00:34.842+01:00A Short Life Update
Oh hi!
It's an exciting day today for me and I thought I would write about what is happening to keep anyone who reads my blog in the loop. Today I'm off to Helsinki with my dad, and tomorrow we're flying to England!
The flight to Gatwick leaves early in the morning, so to not have to take the night train to the airport we've got a hotel room in Helsinki that we'll be staying at. ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-25488053810240060692017-08-12T16:00:00.000+01:002017-08-12T16:00:31.884+01:00A Pointless Blogpost? - Saturday Ramble
Oh Hi,
here I am sat at 11:13pm on a Friday evening with thoughts running through my head and I remember that I now run a blog that is for those thoughts. So strap in, let's go on a journey through my brain and see where we end up (because I don't know either).
I don't think I quite realised how hard it is to find an apartment in the outskirts of London. When I've looked at apartments ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-69760351557977282942017-07-29T16:00:00.000+01:002017-08-12T22:56:08.652+01:00The Vicious Circle of Procrastination - Saturday Ramble
Oh Hi,
There's becoming a reoccurring theme on this blog: me sitting down and just writing my heart out. But I quite like it like that, so we'll keep it going. I think this is something I'm going to start doing, a Saturday ramble. It might not be written on a Saturday, but it will always be posted on a Saturday. Unless I fail because I'm bad at commitments, but oh at least I tried.
This ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-5194184320597272522017-07-23T21:42:00.001+01:002017-07-23T21:42:58.938+01:00Depression - how I got help
Oh Hi,
I have often, on this blog and other social media, hinted that I've suffered with mental health problems or the like, and I've always said that I'll talk about it some other time. It has never felt right and I've always wondered when I should write about my story, and how much I want to share. It's a scary world to be honest in, and I know that whatever I say or write is out there ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-49194513479690316412017-07-05T19:00:00.000+01:002017-07-05T19:00:13.540+01:00Changes Bringing a New Start
Oh Hi!
If you've been a reader of my blog for some time, or even since the last time I posted a blogpost, you will be able to see that there's been some changes. Do not freak out, these changes are good changes.
If you read my last blogpost (well actually, the one before that) you'd know that I graduated in June. I'm done with school now and it's such a freeing feeling. I think I've ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-92112019526555491482017-06-18T20:04:00.001+01:002017-07-04T22:39:59.637+01:00Trapped | ItsMaddiehbu
I feel trapped. I want out.
But what if I never get out?
Or what if I get out
and feel trapped again?
I guess what I'm trying to say is
I want to be free.
I want to feel like a bird.
But what if it's not the place
that is making me feel trapped,
what if it's my skin?
All I know is
I've felt trapped
ever since I can remember
and there are only moments
when I've felt free.
And those ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-3979242716597390312017-05-26T22:39:00.002+01:002017-07-04T22:40:36.843+01:00The emptiness that fills youDo you ever feel like you want to do a hundred things at once, and nothing at all? Do you ever stare at a blank page for ages, trying to will the words to just appear? Do you ever want to move across the world to another country and just start over?
I do.
I can hear the wind and the tumbleweed on my blog, it's really been that long. I've often opened blogger, staring at that little orange icon. ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-12301033011140317092016-12-10T13:57:00.000+00:002017-07-04T22:40:58.413+01:00When Life Hits You (literally)Oh Hi,
I'm not going to lie and say that I know the point of this blogpost, because I don't. I guess I'm writing it to figure out my thoughts and to process the thing that happened. I don't know.
On Fridays I start school at 11am. It's my favourite day of the week because I get to sleep in, sometimes even to 9am. Yesterday I woke up at 8:30am because I had decided to do my makeup, and ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-42870752998779829142016-07-26T19:00:00.000+01:002016-07-26T18:40:01.652+01:00Because I Feel Like I Conquered the World*Trigger warning: depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, self-harm. Please don't read if these things trigger you because I want only the best for you and you are worth all the good things in the world and you deserve to take care of yourself♥*
When I was thirteen or fourteen I wrote my first suicide letter. I dedicated a page or so to each important person in my life. I remember writing in ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-3029307714659652042016-06-14T18:00:00.000+01:002017-07-04T22:41:35.165+01:00Where I Belong
Oh Hi!
This post might be all over the place or then it might make sense. It's a bit of a stream of consciousness.
So I was recently to London for the first time. Firstly, it was my first time ever travelling outside of Scandinavia, and it was my first time travelling outside the country without my parents. Secondly, I traveled to a place that I've dreamt about going to ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-56232598005031006492016-05-27T22:17:00.000+01:002017-07-04T22:42:04.147+01:0018 Things I've Learn In 18 Years
Oh Hi!
Long time no talk. Let's not get into that.
I turned 18 recently and while it's not that big of a deal (despite the fact that I now have hold of my own bank account, I can drink if I want to and I can drive as soon as I get my drivers license) I still reflected over it all. The reason why birthdays are such a big thing for me is because as a 14-15 year old girl, I ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-80932323340525677712016-01-30T23:05:00.000+00:002017-07-04T22:43:23.762+01:00Future Plans?
Oh Hi!
I'm not even going to come with an excuse as to why this poor blog has been left to collect dust for so long. I just didn't have inspiration.
However, now suddenly, my brain is filled with thoughts and I felt like writing it down. This is mainly because I finally got to reading Girl Online On Tour By Zoe Sugg and the theme in the book causing me to think a lot.
I'm now at ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-8237778308417146972015-07-31T22:33:00.002+01:002016-01-30T23:17:28.707+00:00In The News Today
(source)
Oh Hi!
It's been a few weeks again, I apologize for that. However I have a good reason this time: I was a help leader at a one week camp. Yes, that's an experience.
Anyways, that's not what I'm going to talk about today. I'm home alone, it's 12am and I started thinking (you don't say).
I don't exactly know how to start this blog post. So I'm going to start with a ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-18177822029175929472015-06-10T19:00:00.000+01:002016-01-30T23:18:34.678+00:00Happiness
Oh Hi!
Today my blog turns two. I've been blogging pretty solidly for two years now, that's mental!
Sadly I'm currently in a very deep writer's block where I have no inspiration, but today I wanted to talk about happiness. My happiness.
When I started this blog in 2013 I was actually very depressed. I had at the end of 2012 been a week in an emergency "treatment" place because of ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-62852764846725737922015-03-22T11:01:00.001+00:002016-01-30T23:25:18.328+00:00I want so much
Oh hi!
First of all, I'm writing this on my phone so it'll look different.*
Second of all, I wrote this post already once and then I just went to get my "xoxo Maddie" sign I put in every blogpost and the post was gone. I am pissed.
Third, I don't know what I said in that post. So now this post won't be as good. I'm cursing inside.
So, if you've read my blog for a while you know ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-325475339683272513.post-83460753120617726382015-02-24T18:00:00.000+00:002016-01-30T23:25:59.508+00:00Spring?
Pictures taken last summer at my grandparents' cottage
Oh Hi!
It seems that everywhere in the world it's now going into spring and the sun is shining and it's warm. And then you step outside in Finland and we currently have half a meter of snow and the roads are slippery as hell.
We're now in that stage here in my town when it's always about 2°C and the roads are super slippery ItsMaddiehbuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02805793108480116082noreply@blogger.com0