Sunday, March 22, 2015

I want so much

Oh hi!

First of all, I'm writing this on my phone so it'll look different.*
Second of all, I wrote this post already once and then I just went to get my "xoxo Maddie" sign I put in every blogpost and the post was gone. I am pissed.
Third, I don't know what I said in that post. So now this post won't be as good. I'm cursing inside.

So, if you've read my blog for a while you know that I've never been gone for this long. I'm stuck in the worst writer's block I've ever had. I can't even write essays for school. 

I want so much. I want to inspire and I want to change the world. And I'm stuck in this small town in Finland not doing ANYTHING. I don't have any ideas, or then I have ideas and I don't feel like writing. I'm stuck.

My question is: is anyone listening? Or am I writing to a black hole? I see the numbers. "20 people have visited this blog today" but I don't see it. I don't get any comments and I feel like I'm writing into a big black hole. My blogposts just disappear into the world of blogposts. Nothing important here. And I want so much, I want to change the world. And I can't. Because I'm stuck.

I write for myself, but I also write for you. I write to maybe change your view or to make you feel like you're not alone. But then I feel so alone. I feel so empty. 
You see, I actually want to make money out of writing. I love writing, I want to one day write a book or many books. I want to do the things I love, and I wish to make money from that. As horrible as that might sound, I don't want to have 7am-4pm workdays. I want to be my own boss. I want to write for the world and change the world. And I'm stuck. Is anyone listening?

I guess I'm having a crisis. What do I do when I want so much? I don't know where to start. I want to write about important things like feminism, depression and war. I want to write about beauty and fashion. And right now, I'm not doing any of that.

So my question to the few people who read my blog is: what do you enjoy reading about? What do you want me to write about? What are your favorite posts of mine?
Please answer those questions, because again; I am stuck.
(I can however enlighten you and tell you that I'll have a vlog coming your way sometime this week as I met two of my favorite youtubers!)

*I have since edited this

1 comment:

  1. I feel your blogger-pain. I have upto 100 views or more a day and no one comments. Okay, I get the odd couple of comments every ten or so posts, but I also feel like I am writing to a black hole. What I have to remember, and what you maybe could remember too, is that you have silent readers. Those are the ones who wake up, or sit on the couch every evening, typing in your blog link in the search bar and reading your latest post.

    This is what I always have to remember myself. Silent readers and supporters are hiding away in hope of your next blog post is up on schedule for them to enjoy.

    Much love,

    Lauren Nicole O'Hara