Saturday, April 14, 2018

I'm Still Alive (Life Update)

Oh Hi!

Long time no talk. I would love to just pretend like it hasn't been half a year since I last posted but I promised myself that my blog would be an honest space so here we are. Where have I been and why have I been gone?
If you follow me on social media you'll know that I didn't actually disappear, I just did the thing I do almost every single time I start posting blogposts regularly; I stop posting. Every time it's a different reason, either I don't have motivation or inspiration, I'm too busy or I get depressed. This time it was the latter.
Last time I posted a blogpost I shared how I was feeling like I was relapsing into depression. I was in a really shitty situation, wanting so badly to move to England but not being able to do it and therefore I felt trapped. You'd think I was used to feeling trapped as that's what I've been feeling since I was 10 years old, but alas, this was a new kind of trapped. I had actually tried to get out, but failed. And that caused me to feel absolutely horrible. On top of that almost all of my friends had started University somewhere else and I was stuck here. It was like pouring salt in the wounds.

Nothing much has changed, except circumstances, and it's once again proof to me that it does get better. In October I started looking at going to University in England and I found Bath Spa University, which offers lots of creative art courses. I was set on applying for Creative arts, where you combine two subjects, and I was planning on combining Art and Creative Writing. 
In November mom, dad and I went to England for a week and during that week we went to Bath, so that I could go to one of the open days they were having at Bath Spa Uni. I went to listen to the presentation for Creative Writing and hearing how many different types of writing you get to try while taking that course I decided that I only wanted to take Creative Writing so that I would actually get to try all the different kinds of writing (when you combine two subjects you take half of one and half of the other, therefore not getting to take everything you might want to take). So I started my application for Creative Writing, and boy was it stressful. Knowing that I'm applying alone while others are applying while they're still in school, and therefore getting help from their teachers, really put pressure on me. But if I put my mind to something I do it. I had my friends read through my personal statement multiple times, and my friend Tasha, who is from England and started Uni in September, proof-read it and sent me suggestions to make it better. God bless my friends.

Soooo you can guess where this is going. I GOT ACCEPTED. The application deadline was on the 15th of January and I sent in my application on the 13th, so truly showing how late I will submit everything. On the 15th of January I got an email from bath Spa University asking me to submit a sample of my creative writing under the headline "The Tools of The Trade". The deadline for that was on the 5th of February. So I had roughly 2 weeks to write the greatest creative writing piece I had ever written. I submitted that on the 4th of February (again, showing how late I will submit everything) and got a reply on the 5th saying that it had been forwarded to the course leader. Then it was silent for about 2 week, until the 2oth of February when I got an email asking me to send in photocopies of my matriculation examination results etc. That week was a pretty busy week for me so I sent those in on the 23rd of February (a Friday). On Monday the 26th of February I got an email telling me I got an unconditional offer from Bath Spa University. I bawled my eyes out, walked around the whole house shaking, calling mom, calling dad, texting friends, calling friends. It was a great day.

Now from the 26th of February I've been in the process of getting ready to go to University in September. I've accepted my offer, applied for student loans from England, applied for student benefit, housing benefit and student loans from Finland, applied for priority for halls of residence and been accepted for priority for halls of residence. And last week I sent in my preferences for student housing. So now I'm just sat around waiting to get the replies about the student loans (which can take awhile). Once I get those replies I'll have to wait until August to find out where I'm going to be living. So currently I'm practicing my waiting game.

I'm moving to England in September and I'm so unbelievably excited. This has been my dream since I knew England was a country. And on top of that I'm going to a University I really want to go to and I'm going to study something I actually want to do in the future. My life has taken a turn for the better.

As I wrote, this serves as a reminder to me that when I get down, I will feel better again. Life changes, circumstances change and you can make your life into your life. I always get back up.
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